Sunday, January 21, 2018

It's Okay! Tell Me About It!

A friend told me that she worries about offending people on social media. Immediately, I realized that I worry about the same thing. That's why I haven't written any blogs lately.

But enough being afraid. I'm going to start writing whatever is on my mind again.

Today's Topic: Why are We Afraid to Speak of Our Own Joys and Troubles Post Crisis?

Its been rough around here the past couple of months. Briefly, the largest fire in California history burned many homes; a heavy rain (1/2 an inch in 5 minutes) followed, and the mountain (Fine. Mudslide.) came down in a neighboring town that killed twenty-three people, destroyed property, and closed the freeway. It's been horrific for them.

Aaaand...The smell of survivor guilt is strong around here.

It seems to have become forbidden to speak of our own joys and sorrows. Sentences start with I shouldn't complain...Happy occurences are simply not introduced. For example:

  • I watched a grandmother, starting to speak of (and clearly worried about) the health of her grandchild, swallow her anxiety and say "I shouldn't talk —Look at the poor people in Montecito!" Does cutting that conversation short help the people in Montecito?
  • New home-owner friends cancelled their plans for a house warming party. Cancelled. Not Postponed. Both kicking themselves for wanting to celebrate at a time like this. How does not celebrating speed up the rebuild of Montecito?
So, let's clear the air. I understand stepping back and being grateful for our good fortunes. I understand that our own problems may seem petty in comparison to what happened in Montecito. That big and small celebrations may seem like pouring salt on a wound.

But we can't change what happened. Besides, the freeway is suppose to open tomorrow! And  if it doesn't, feel free to tell me about it. It's okay!


  1. Good thoughts. You should speak up if you have something to say. If someone doesn’t like your post, then they always have the option to ignore it. There will always be good, and bad things happening, and life is inherently inequitable. Your good fortunes do not come at the expense of my bad fortunes, and so forth.


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